Turning pain into purpose

During a breakout session at Women for Madison's 2025 Women Who Amaze Summit, Stoaks shared her extraordinary journey from foster care and instability to becoming a student leader, advocate and aspiring social worker dedicated to helping others find hope in the face of adversity.  

Born to a mother experiencing homelessness and significant challenges, Stoaks spent much of her early childhood in and out of foster care. At age eight, she was adopted, but the stability she hoped for proved short-lived. As a young adult, she faced another painful experience of abandonment that left her questioning her identity and future. 

Despite those challenges, Stoaks refuses to let her circumstances define her. 

“I'm not abandoned, I'm not unwanted, I'm not discarded,” she told attendees. “I'm loved, I'm chosen, I'm honored and I'm accepted.” 

Through faith, mentorship and perseverance, Stoaks found renewed purpose and eventually transferred to JMU. She pursued a major in Media Arts and Design with a concentration in Journalism and minors in Family Studies  and Youth Justice, focusing her academic work on the experiences and outcomes of children in foster care. 

As she studied statistics surrounding the foster care system, Stoaks was struck by how many young people face homelessness, incarceration and other barriers after aging out of care. Rather than viewing those realities as inevitable, she's determined to create meaningful change. 

That vision inspired Pain to Purpose, an educational intervention nonprofit she is launching to support foster youth through mentorship, life-skills programming and scholarship opportunities. 

“I really believe in the power of mentorship,” Stoaks said. “We're not defined by our mistakes. We're not defined by what people have done to us. We're defined by who we're created to be.” 

The organization aims to provide early intervention for youth in foster care, helping middle and high school students develop practical life skills, explore higher education opportunities and build relationships with trusted mentors, many of whom have lived experience in the foster care system themselves. 

Stoaks credits much of her success to the mentors and advocates who came alongside her during difficult seasons. One pivotal moment occurred shortly after arriving at JMU, when a scholarship opportunity that appeared closed unexpectedly opened the door to a full-ride award — the Centennial Scholars Program.  

Stoaks is continuing her mission by pursuing a Master of Social Work degree at Norfolk State University while expanding the reach of Pain to Purpose. 

She punctuates this chapter with a reflection that has guided her own transformation: “When the caterpillar thought its life was over, it turned into a butterfly.” 

For Stoaks, that metaphor reflects not only her own journey, but her hope for every young person facing hardship — that with support, resilience and belief in their potential, they too can learn to fly.