Dating Violence

What do you think of when someone mentions the words “dating violence?”

power and control wheelUsually it is the physical violence that springs to mind – hitting, pushing, shaking; black eyes and bruises.

In reality, there are many kinds of abuse. Abuse is about gaining power and control over another person, and not only in physical ways. Other types of abuse are demonstrated to the right by the Power & Control Wheel (click wheel to view larger image).

While the majority of dating violence happens to women, it is also important to note that it happens to men as well. Dating violence also happens in straight, as well as same-sex partnerships.

 

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Red flags in a relationship might include your partner:

  • Always wanting to know where you are and who you are with
  • Not wanting you to spend time with others
  • Getting angry if you do not answer a call or text immediately
  • Always blaming you for their mistakes
  • Calling you names or constantly putting you down
  • Yelling constantly, throwing or punching objects
  • Pressuring you to do more sexually than you are ready for

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Ask yourself if you and your partner:

  • Have fun together more often than not
  • Make decisions together
  • Enjoy spending time together, with mutual friends, and with separate friends
  • Encourage each other to participate in activities you enjoy
  • Accept responsibility for your own mistakes, and apologize earnestly
  • Communicate about the boundaries of your physical relationship
  • Trust and respect each other

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If you are concerned that you or a friend is in an unhealthy relationship, here are some steps you can take

Safety should be your number 1 priority. If you feel safety is an issue please get help immediately.

Who to Call:

  • Campus police – 568-6911
  • Harrisonburg police – 911
  • The Commonwealth Attorney’s Victim/Witness Program Domestic Violence Coordinator – 564-3350
  • First Step Domestic Violence Shelter – 434-0295
  • The JMU Office of Judicial Affairs – 568-6218
  • Student Wellness & Outreach - 568-2831
  • The Counseling & Student Development Center – 568-6552

If you are seeing red flags in your relationship or a friend’s and want to talk more about it, please contact Student Wellness & Outreach and ask to make an appointment with a counselor.

For more information on dating violence, please visit theredflagcampaign.org

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