Click above to access the resource guide.

Helping a Friend

Know someone with an eating disorder?

friend If you are reading this, then chances are you are concerned about the eating habits, weight, or body image of someone you care about. This can be a very difficult and scary time for you.

You are doing a great thing by looking for more information! This list may not tell you everything you need to know about what to do in your specific situation, but it will give you some helpful general ideas on what you can do to help your friend.

A few things to remember:

Learn as much as you can about eating disorders. Read books, articles, and brochures. Explore the links on this web site.
Know the differences between facts and myths about weight, nutrition, and exercise. Knowing the facts will help you reason against any inaccurate idea that your friend may be using as an excuse to maintain her disordered eating patterns.
Be honest. Talk openly and honestly about your concerns with the person who is struggling with eating or body image problems. Avoiding it or ignoring it won't help!
Speak with compassion and concern. When discussing the eating disorder, be as descriptive as possible. Explain what you see by describing the person's problematic behaviors. State your observations in the "I" mode; for instance: "I noticed that you are skipping meals." Do NOT use the "YOU" mode: "You are skipping meals." Listen in a non-judgmental way.
Be caring, but be firm. Caring about your friend does not mean being manipulated by her. Your friend must be responsible for her actions and their consequences. Avoid making "rules," promises, or expectations that you cannot or will not uphold (For example, "I promise not to tell anyone." or, "If you do this one more time I'll never talk to you again.").
Tell someone. It may seem difficult to know when, if at all, to tell someone else about your concerns. Addressing body image or eating problems in their beginning stages probably offers your friend the best chance for working through these issues and becoming healthy again. Don't wait until the situation is so severe that your friend's life is in danger. If you have already spoken with your friend and still feel like more steps need to be taken to address these issues, consider telling her parents, a teacher, a doctor, a counselor, a nutritionist, or any trusted adult. She needs as much support and understanding as possible from the people in her life.
Be supportive. Recovery is hard but many people have achieved it. Don't criticize or make them feel guilty. This may only cause them to slip deeper into the disorder. There's no such thing as an immediate recovery, even if the patient is hospitalized or taking prescribed medication. There is NO magic pill that can cure an Eating Disorder, but treatment can contribute to helping the patient overcome the problem.
Remember. You cannot force someone to seek help, change their habits, or adjust their attitudes; realize that recovery is their responsibility. Someone struggling with anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder needs professional help. You will make important progress in honestly sharing your concerns, providing support, and knowing where to go for more information!