How To Get The Most Out Of Counseling
Define your goals.
Think about what you would like to get out of counseling. It might be helpful to jot down a list of events, relationship issues, and feelings that you think are contributing to your distress. Share this list with your counselor. Take time before each session to consider your expectations for that session. As counseling progresses, longer-term goals may emerge along with some ideas about how to progress toward these goals.
Take responsibility and participate actively.
Don't expect your counselor to make decisions for you or to "fix" you. This is your counseling process. You will get the most out of your sessions if you take responsibility for determining the course and content of the sessions, follow through on steps determined by you and your counselor, and discuss with your counselor any problems or circumstances that may be interfering with your progress. Ultimately, your decisions and actions will set the pace and direction of your progress.
Be open and honest.
Tell your counselor as much as you can about yourself and your areas of concern. Leaving out important information makes it more difficult for your counselor to understand your situation and to offer meaningful support and guidance.
Expect to experience some discomfort.
Self-exploration and change involve hard work, and the feelings and thoughts stirred up in the process may be painful. Your counselor will help you to express and to work through these challenges, and former clients typically conclude that the benefits were well worth struggle.
Read the messages from your own body.
Your body is continually giving you messages about your feelings. The open or closed position of your arms and legs, sweating palms, shakiness, rapid heartbeat, queasiness, difficulty breathing, etc. all communicate important information about your emotions. These messages can be noted and shared with your counselor.
Expect periods of silence.
Although it may seem odd, some of the most important gains in counseling occur in moments of silence. Use silence as an opportunity to attend to your thoughts and feelings and to open yourself to new insights and ideas.
Remember that feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are all important to discuss.
Students sometimes focus on only one of these areas, at times to the point of virtually ignoring the others. However, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors all play an important role in the development of problems, and all three need to be addressed when working to solve them.
Talk with your counselor about what's working and what isn't.
If you have been in counseling before and found some aspect or method particularly helpful, let your counselor know what it was. Likewise, counselors appreciate hearing that they have done something that has been helpful to a client, as they can use this information to guide their future efforts. Conversely, if you feel you would benefit more from a different approach or direction, talk with your counselor about that, too. Ask questions about anything that concerns or confuses you.
Try to be patient.
If you have been struggling with an issue or a problem for a period of months or even years, it may not be possible to overcome it in just a couple of counseling sessions. Changing something that may have become an integral part of your life can be very challenging, and progress may be slow, especially at the beginning.
Let your counselor know when you feel it's time to stop.
Your counselor will want to know when you are ready to end counseling. He or she might make recommendations that are either supportive of your decision or that encourage you to reconsider. However, you are the one who is in control of when your counseling experience will end.
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