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Success Begins with You

Perspectives from experienced professionals


"Ways to Get Into Your Zone for Life"

by John Carr
Chairman/CEO
Brain Surgery Worldwide, Inc.


This is Part 2 of a two-part letter from John Carr. Read Part 1.

 

Creating a Successful Journey


Remember from part one that I am sharing with you the philosophies (or ways of being) that I have adopted.  Good timing, a little luck, perseverance, consistent preparation, always trying to do the right thing, and tenacity do factor into creating any successful outcome.

Be reminded that life is a journey; there is no finish line.  By signing up for this trip, i.e., adopting this view, you can begin to chart your course, create success and weather the storms.

First, What is the Zone?
The Zone is the mental and physical place where everything seems right; where you are so focused and attentive that you absorb everything around you; a place where you can do no wrong.  Now for the rest of the story.

 

Listening from the Perspective of Another Person
Understanding and determining how someone listens is an invaluable skill.  We all listen to people a certain way through a set of thoughts that form instantly in our brains. We use these thoughts as filters, we listen through them, and everything someone says is interpreted through these filters. If you can understand how someone is listening you can tune your language so that what you say instantly connects with the other person. This connection causes them to be more motivated by you, often expressed as “he or she just gets me,” which is how you feel when this type of listening occurs. 

Becoming more than a good listener is the quest. You want to become acquainted with how the other person listens to you and interprets your language. This skill takes years to perfect, and even those who are very good are still learning. It requires that you have a genuine interest in the other person as a priority before yourself, and that you demonstrate your interest in them by asking questions to find out how they feel and think. Investing time and energy in learning this skill will enhance your relationships on all levels and will lead you to unforeseen possibilities in both business and in life. You will enjoy a richer fuller interaction with everyone.


A Problem Well Stated is Half Solved
Trying to solve a problem is sometimes not as good as recognizing it, understanding why it happened and then moving in a new direction. When you can understand problems you can choose a new path, which will lead you to the solution. But you can’t choose a new path by constantly rehashing the problem.  This concept is complex but simply stated: 1) look at problems, 2) understand them, then 3) put them aside, so you can 4) think about a new idea or direction. You have to get off the problem to move forward.  


Using Failures to Craft Success
Fear of failure drives many of us in our daily lives. When I am asked, “How have you become successful?” I often say, “I just kept failing forward.” Taking the risk and failing is only part of the equation.The other part is having the courage to 1) face the failure, 2) learn from it by understanding it completely, even if it is something embarrassing to you personally, then 3) seeing ways of correcting what you do, and finally 4) having the courage to make real changes. 

My business partner and I often say, “Well we are learning.” We have the attitude that with every failure, no matter how large or how personal, we will face it, acknowledge it, learn how it happened and then grow from it by making changes. This behavior pattern has significantly improved our company and us as people. The caution is, actually doing this without telling yourself a “story” is very difficult (often we tell ourselves a story to let ourselves off the hook and not take responsibility). You have to be willing to challenge yourself, admit your failings and commit to getting better by changing. All easier said than done.


Doing What You Say You are Going to Do
This one is 80 percent of the game, as strange as that may sound. I am astounded at how making a life commitment to “doing what I say I am going to do” is a significant factor in both my personal and professional life. It is the one thing that most people don’t do, or can’t do, for a variety of reasons, most of which are a result of not consciously owning their choices. If you do one thing with these philosophies or “ways of being,” adopt this one and it will be invaluable. If the only thing people remember about you is “he or she did what they said they would do,” you are way ahead of most of the world—hard words to live up to, but they are “words to live by”—good advice to consider.

While these things (from part one and part two) seem simple and you may be thinking, “Oh, I knew that,” practicing them is not so simple. If you put effort into understanding these practices/philosophies (or as I like to call them “ways of being”) and apply them to your everyday life, you will reap untold rewards. By adopting them you will put yourself in a position to be in your “Zone,” a place where preparation meets opportunity. All you have to do is be there and take action. Choose to learn and keep learning these philosophies; after all, learning is a great part of what the journey is about. My hope is that you will integrate these into your life’s journey and make the world a better place.

Optional Reading:  I have formed these ideas from my own experiences and from reading many things in my effort to learn, which I will continue to do for the rest of my life. I would urge anyone to get copies of the books mentioned here and read them for your own enjoyment and interpretation. They will help you with your life’s journey as they continue to help me with mine.

Leadership is an Art, Max DePree
Time to Think, Listening to Ignite the Human Mind, Nancy Kline
The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield
The Power of NOW, Eckhart Tolle
Why Is God Laughing, Deepak Chopra
Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl
Surfing the Himalayas, Federick Lenz
The Dragons of Eden, Carl Sagan
A World Waiting to be Born, M. Scott Peck
Descartes’ Error, Antonio R. Damasio

John Carr (JMU ’82) founded Brain Surgery Worldwide, Inc. in 1994 (www.brainsurgeryinc.com), a marketing knowledge firm that delivers emotion based behavioral insight and messaging.  He is a current member of the College of Business EAC and was one of the founding members of the JMU Rugby Club in the 70s.  John lives with his wife Kathleen and their Collie Dallis in Atlanta, Georgia. They also have a home in Afton, Virginia.